One of the most important parts of your off-campus living experience is your roommate experience.  The selection of your roommate is a serious matter and should be given some serious thought.  There are so many things to consider when you are living in an apartment, so you want to make sure the person you are living with is aware of the legal, financial and personal implications of a shared living experience. 

It’s a good idea to take the initiative and get acquainted with your potential roommate.  Establish a comfort level that works for the both of you so you can be assertive about your individual needs, as well as respecting theirs.  Engaging in healthy dialogues early on helps set the stage for honest and open communication.  When you are able to appreciate and understand each other’s needs, you will be ready to discuss expectations as roommates.  Creating expectations and guidelines for living involves actively talking and listening to one another.  Establishing a solid foundation in your roommate relationship from the beginning will help you to minimize or eliminate conflicts in your living environment.

The Off-Campus Housing Office has a message board on our Campus Cruiser page to help you in your roommate search. If you have an apartment to share or need a roommate and apartment, you can create an ad to post. For information on how to create such a post, follow these simple directions.

Roommate Expectations

If you’ve never lived in an apartment or with a roommate before, it’s likely there are millions of questions going through your head.  There are obvious things to think about concerning budget, location and the apartment search process, but what about the actual living experience itself?  Who will be in charge of the utilities?  Should doors be locked when you’re in the apartment? How much privacy do you need?  Who will buy the groceries?  The following checklist contains discussion points and questions that may come in handy as you establish rules and guidelines for your living situation.

• How will the rent be paid?  Does the landlord prefer one check, or do all roommates pay separately?
• What is your definition of loud and soft noise?  Should quiet time be established?
• Are pets allowed?  If so, who is responsible for this pet?  Is anyone allergic?
• Is smoking permitted?
• What are your reactions to alcohol consumption?  Are any roommates underage?
• Who is responsible for collecting/paying bills?  In whose name will they be listed?
• How and who will buy groceries?  May roommates borrow food from one another?
• Will sharing or borrowing of personal items be allowed?
• What are your thoughts on overnight guests?  How often may they stay and for how long?

Create a roommate contract when you move in with your roommate(s) to help you remember and clarify what was discussed and agreed upon.  If conflict arises, it’s easy to simply refer to the contract and revisit your mutually agreed upon guidelines.  Click to view a sample roommate contract that you may use as a template.  

Actions Speak Louder than Words

You can talk to your roommate until you’re blue in the face, but sometimes there are nonverbal clues that can illustrate a breakdown in communication.  Actions speak louder than words, so keep your eyes peeled for these warning signs:

• Your roommates are not speaking
• They leave when you enter a room
• They complain to friends about you
• They get angry over trivial matters

The best way to deal with this is to confront the situation head on.  Talk to your roommate(s) and try to understand what the problem may be.  Chances are it could only be a small issue that could easily be resolved.  However, if it’s a larger problem rooted in deeper issues then all of you must work together to resolve it.  The key to successful conflict management and resolution is communication on an equal level.  Avoid behavior that will continue to break up communication. 

Utilize “I” statements to clearly express how the conflict affects you and has made you feel.  Take responsibility for keeping things set and hold the tone of the discussion by your calm and positive example. Everyone has an equal right to be heard, so create an open environment so everyone has the ability to speak freely.

An uncomfortable living situation can lead to a decrease in school attendance, homework completion and health.  If necessary, think about consulting outside mediators and resources within Suffolk and the city of Boston. 

Mediation and Conflict Resolution Resources

Off-Campus Housing Office
6th Floor, 73 Tremont Street
617-573-8647
ocho@suffolk.edu

Counseling Center
5th Floor, 73 Tremont Street
617-573-8226
Office Hours:  Monday - Friday, 9:00am - 4:30pm
Counseling Center Website

Rental Housing Resource Center
617-635-7368
www.cityofboston.gov/rentalhousing